Mood: Fiesty
Theme Song: "I Fought the Law" - The Clash
Sadly, I fought the SkyTV this morning and they won. :( A week or so ago I went online to order my cable, phone and internet from Sky. I completed the online form and received a couple emails informing me that my installation date was on the 27th. There was some gobbedlygook in there about my phone being installed in February but I didn't quite understand it - and me being me, didn't really read it all that closely. Fast forward to this morning when the nice Sky TV installation man shows up. And installs just my cable. No phone, no internet. Now, he was very nice and very cute (though he ruined things by telling me that "the wife" also loves Lost and will be recording it, too) so I was very nice to him. Instead I called Sky customer care, and after navigating automated hell and putting in my phone number, post code, birthday and blood type, got through to a woman who sounded like Sean Connery after a weeklong bender. She informed me that it would take up to 3 weeks for me to be assigned a phone number - and then two weeks after that for me to get my broadband "rooter" (router) so I could be online. I expressed my extreme displeasure at this but apparently this is the kind of customer service they offer. I asked to speak to her supervisor and she put me on hold for about 10 minutes, at which point I just hung up and tried again. Went through the same automated hell and this time I was lucky enough to get Mumbai. I swear I think I got that call centre from Slumdog Millionaire. This guy - "Harold" - made me verify my name, address, birthday and phone number all over again. He also was absolutely no help. I explained that my main frustration was that I have already been charged for my phone installation. I equated the situation to me charging him for a meal that I planned to feed him in approximately 3-5 weeks. I don't think he got the analogy, as he kept repeating the exact same information to me over and over again. I really think he was reading from some sort of manual (Chapter 7, "Dealing with Angry Americans"). So I got frustrated and hung up.
Long story short is there's no winning against British bureaucracy. I feel like I'm living in the Soviet bloc or something - a month for a damn phone line!! But in talking to my coworkers, this is normal, as everything has to go through BT (British Telephone) and they are a monopoly. Seems they haven't had the great Baby Bell shake up over here yet. But if I have anything to do with it, there is going to be a riot this decade!!! ;)
Federman out.
P.S. - Got the best postcard ever in the mail. It's from a local service called "Liquid Friends of Canterbury". Seems I've got an alcohol delivery service in my town. Not only will they bring me all the beer/wine/spirits I may need at, say, 11:30pm on a Thursday, but they will also provide toilet tissue, napkins and a variety of snacks. Great for when I'm too lazy to walk to the Tesco but find myself in desperate need of a bottle of vodka and some Cheese & Onion flavoured crisps. Sometimes, this country is indeed great.
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