Mood: Awake (does that count?)
Theme Song: "Amsterdam" by Peter Bjorn and John
I've been meaning to write about my short trip to Amsterdam for awhile, but as with many things, time has slipped away from me. But I want to record my impressions before they fade away completely. I went on 13 and 14 September as part of a European team meeting.
The first thing that struck me was how close Amsterdam is to London. Now we all know I possess the geographic skills of a slightly slow 4th grader but I actually did know where Amsterdam was on the map. I just didn't realise it was only an hour flight away. I took a BA flight out of London-Gatwick at ridiculous o'clock in the morning and I barely had time to get comfortable and start drooling before we were landing. I was so incredibly tired I was nearly delirious, as I had just returned from the U.S. the day before. In fact, I was in my house less than 24 hours before heading back out again, and due to the time difference and jet lag, I managed a combined total of about 5 hours sleep (between naps and actually trying to sleep). I think its fair to say I was not spreading joy and happiness to all at Gatwick that morning. (In fact, I distinctly remember giving the evil eye to the lady who served me at EAT, and engaging in a rather contentious discussion about why damn British people insist on putting sauces on perfectly good food - i.e. mayonnaise on sandwiches, hollandaise on an egg sandwich. I just wanted the equivalent of an Egg McMuffin really... yeah, it did not end well, so maybe I should just forget all about that experience...)
The Amsterdam airport is very large, and very modern. I was very impressed, and I've seen my fair share of airports. Most of the signs were in English, but it was still rather jarring to see Dutch everywhere. I'll be honest, I have a deep love for languages and pride myself on being able to quickly learn several phrases wherever I go. I went to Germany, learned some German. Went to Japan, learned more than a little bit of Japanese (which is challenging to pronounce correctly). I do okay in Spain, Italy and France. I can handle a bit of Russian and I've even been known to get a few Turkish phrases right. But Dutch... for some reason, I cannot wrap my head around the way it is supposed to sound. It looks one way but then the accent and inflection is all wrong in my head. For a perfectionist like myself, it was immensely frustrating not to even be able to pick up "Hello", "How are you"... nothing. Well, I did manage a "dank u" or two, but I'm fairly certain I was saying it incorrectly.
I only had two days in Amsterdam - both filled with meetings. We got a car from the airport - which incidentally (and quite smartly) was connected to the train station. What a novel idea! There was also this really cool high-tech message board where you could text message a note to people you were meeting and it would show up on the screen. A great system if you're meeting someone, especially with the amounts of people swarming about everywhere. It sure beats our American-style intercom system where everything sounds unbearably loud and twangy or like some unintelligible alien language. Plus, I really hate standing in the middle of an airport and hearing that Mr. Sanderson needs to return to security because he left his wallet behind.
The car driver was very nice - I explained that it was my first trip to Amsterdam and so he went out of his way to point out local sights. I was happy to see that in Amsterdam, they have sense and drive on the RIGHT SIDE OF THE ROAD! As we left the highway and got into town, the first thing I noticed were the bicycles. They were everywhere. And the people riding them were not shy at all about weaving in and out of traffic, seemingly at random and with no concern for their own well-being.
I also noticed that the city seemed to be a beautiful mix of old and new... and reminded me strangely of parts of Boston and New York. Which, I guess makes sense - given the fact that New York was once called New Amsterdam (cue the They Might Be Giants song...). I absolutely loved all of the row houses and the canals. And there were a lot of canals. Unfortunately, I had no time during my trip to walk around and explore. We did pass a gorgeous museum, which is currently being renovated... and we passed the Van Gogh museum (you all know I was itching to jump out of the car and go explore!). The driver also pointed out the site of the original Heineken Brewery. They don't brew beer there anymore, but there is still a big sign and I think he said they give tours (would love to see that, too).
The hotel was very nice - in the city center on a cute little side street. It was very modern, and very European inside. I somehow lucked out and was given an Executive Suite. My room was almost as big as the first floor of my flat. Why is it that when I'm staying somewhere for just 1 or 2 nights, and I will be spending little to no time in my room, I am given these gorgeous accommodations? But when I'm spending weeks, or basically living in a hotel, I end up rocking it out at the Holiday Inn Rockland (not to name names or anything...)? Redeeming qualities for this hotel were that they offered real coffee (espresso! latte! cappuccino!) and served some amazing food for breakfast and lunch. When I'm traveling, there is nothing I dislike more than having to eat crap food. My extensive number of trips to and fro have taught me the importance of healthy eating while on the road - lots of fruit, vegetables, salad and lean protein. Nothing gives you that unhealthy pallor or bloated look faster than a spate of fatty, greasy hotel meals.
After our meetings, we walked down a few streets to where two big coach buses were waiting alongside one of the canals. We ended up going to something called - if i'm remembering correctly - de KookFabriek. Which apparently means "cooking factory". We basically were split into 4 groups and we made a 3 course meal created by Michelin chef Ron Blaauw as teams, which we then ate. It was amazingly fun. There was a healthy amount of skepticism that we would actually be able to pull it off, but we did - and the food was fantastic.It was one of the neatest teambuilding events I've ever been part of - a really easy and fun way to get to know one another while establishing comraderie and trust.
After we got back to the hotel, I was absolutely exhausted but determined to see the Red Light District. You can see my photos from the grand adventure by clicking here. I walked there with a few people in a drizzly rain and was distinctly unimpressed. To be fair, I'm sure I would have been a bit more titilated had I - been in college, been marginally more awake, been drunk or been of the male gender. But as it were, I found the whole place to be unnecessary. Nothing about it was sexy or stimulating. The girls in the windows were nothing special and they really did not want their photos taken. Which surprised me. Your job is to stand in a window in basically your underpants and advertise yourself as merchandise - basically saying, Come in on, give me some money, I love you long time. And yet, when I tried to snap a picture, they yanked the curtains closed, shouted obscenities and flipped me the bird! (Methinks the ladies of the Red Light District could benefit from charm school)
But like many other things in life, I can now say "I've been to the Red Light District". I supposed it would be more interesting to go back when I had more time and was with someone who isn't going to mind my anthropological level of interest in the place, or my goofy comments. (Example... we passed a club that was advertising basically every combination of sexual act you can imagine... and it had a big sign saying "Air Conditioning". My thought was "Well... I was going to pass on the girl-on-boy-on-money-on-midget show...but now that I see they have AIR CONDITIONING... well, hell! How can a girl say no to that?")
I had to leave the next day, but my overall thoughts on Amsterdam are:
- Beautiful city
- Loved the canals - could totally see myself wearing a jauntily placed beret and wandering them while nibbling on delicious Dutch chocolate
- It's an hour away and there are lots of cheap flights, so I will be going back at some point
- I would love to see it at Christmas
- I am dying for the Euro Trip "brownies" experience, as well as the VanderSexx ;)
- Easy Jet hate on you. Period. Nothing about the whole experience is designed to make you happy
- I think they hire flight attendants right out of high school. I swear the two we had probably have Justin Bieber and Jonas Brothers posters on their walls at home
- Safety is not a really big concern. One of my colleagues was in the bathroom and the plane was taxiing away from the stand. As in, we're about to go airborne folks, and they don't care!
- The whole concept brings out the absolute worst in human beings. There are no assigned seats - its not even like Southwest (in America) where you have A, B and C zones. The only thing that is offered is "Speedy Boarding" which essentially means you pay extra to get a head start in running towards the plane. That's right, I said running. Because Easy Jet don't roll with no jetbridge. Uhn-uhn. It's haul ass across the tarmac and then climb up those steps, Fantasy-Island style. And if you don't do Speedy Boardin, you end up fighting the other 100+ people who are trying to get on the plane. I've never seen so much panic, pushing, shoving and sheer madness. For a ONE HOUR FLIGHT. Seriously, people. If you get stuck in the middle seat, your world won't end!
- It's probably due to too many repeat viewings of LOST, but since there are no assigned seats on the plane, the good folks at Easy Jet have no idea where anyone is sitting. And so if we go down in a fiery burst of glory, there is no way for the rescue team to figure out who is what, where. It would just be a mass of burned up people and quite a logistical mess. They would have to call in BONES or something.
Federman out.
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