England Made Me Cry... Again

Mood: Beaten down, worn down
Theme Song: "Nothing is Good Enough" - Aimee Mann

Before I spend the next bit complaining and moaning about all things English, I have to start with the good news - and that is that my broadband should be ready to go as of 4th March. Now, I probably won't be home to receive the router, and thus will ahve to chase it all around town at the UK post offices, BUT the good news is that its coming.  Of course, its just in time for me to be gone for 3 straight weeks for work.

Now, on to why England made me cry, again. My company does this weird thing with Occupational Health to cerify that you are fit for employment or something. And since I don't have a GP yet (they are only open when I'm at work), I got a letter saying I had to go to this doctor's appointment and be examined by a UK doctor. Now, there are three things about this that piss me off:
1) I gave them all my information so they could contact my US doctor on January 6th
2) The appointment is in freaking Chislehurst - which is about 1h15m drive away (so I'm looking at about 3 hours in the car)
3) No one at the doctor's office could tell me exactly why I needed to be examined. Each person I spoke to said they hadn't read my file, it wasn't their job, so sorry.

So tomorrow I get to drive to Chislehurst for my doctor's appointment that I have no idea why I'm having. GRRRRRR. I don't know what it was about this situation, but I literally broke down in tears at my desk. I think its a combination of several things - I'm a bit homesick, my workload is insane, it hasn't stopped raining in days and I'm just generally in a bit of a funk.

Ok, enough griping and complaining. Some funny, positive things -

• I have tried a Scotch Egg. My recommendation? DON'T. I guess they are considered a delicacy here, but it... was... nasty. What is a scotch egg you ask? Well, its not an egg covered in scotch tape (crossed my mind!). Sorry, England, I tried, but I nearly gagged on it.

Scotch egg consists of a shelled hard-boiled egg, wrapped in a sausage meat mixture, coated in breadcrumbs, and deep-fried. Scotch eggs are commonly eaten cold, typically with salad and pickles. Contrary to popular belief (and despite being the butt of a number of English comedians' jokes about the Scottish diet), Scotch Eggs were actually invented by the famous London department store, Fortnum & Mason in 1851.

• I'm still scared by British nightclubs - or at least the one I have visited twice now in Canterbury. Apparently there is another one that is better, but to be honest it wouldn't take a lot to be an improvement on overpriced drinks, cold bathrooms, groping men and bad 80s techno pop. I have never heard such bad music - not even the one time I ventured into Oscar's in the Cincinnati. I hate to say it but I miss my dive bar in Mill Creek.
• When I took the train to London the other day, I mis-read the sign and ended up standing on the wrong platform, by myself, for ages. I thought the sign said Platform 2, and instead it was telling me that my train was coming 2nd. I had loads of people staring at me because I was on the "arrivals" platform, but looking really ready to depart!
• I apparently can't make a decent cup of tea. I was made fun of for drinking "fancy Breakfast tea". I didn't realize there was an art form to boiling water and pouring it over some tea bags, but apparently there is. This is coming from the country that thinks lemonade is some kind of disgusting carbonated nonnsense.

I realize this post lacks the usual entertainment value, and for this I apologise. I'm tired, grumpy and ready to find a descendant of Napoleon who is still feeling bitter so I can wage war on the United Kingdom. ;) I'm sure by tomorrow I'll be fine - assuming I survive my epic drive.

Federman out (and I pity any fools who mess with me tonight).