Drivin' Me Crazy

Mood: Hungry
Theme Song: "Drivin Me Wild" - Common feat Lily Allen

Before I launch into my Cyprian adventure, I have GOT to talk about my left-hand manual transmission adventures!!! So I got my new work car about a week or so ago. We had two choices - an Audi A3 TDI something or other, or an Audi A4 sedan something-or-other. Since we get taxed on the value of the car, I chose the A3. The tax is also based on on the emissions of the vehicle, and the A3 had the lowest of that too. I picked black becasue I've always wanted a black car. So the nice little man comes from Audi to drop off the car. The car itself is lovely - new, shiny, clean... and freaking backwards! I had an Audi in the U.S. and so I'm familiar with where everything is and how they lay things out on the dashboard, etc. What I'm not cool with is the gear shift on the left. Its sooo weird.
So after signing all the paperwork, I had to immediately go to the Canterbury City Council office to get my new parking permit. I park in a lot next to my flat and my pass is tied to the registration of my vehicle (my license plate number). I had no choice but to go get a new one, or get ticketed. And the only way I could get there was to drive my new car. I was having flashbacks to the first time I drove a manual transmission in the U.S. (I bought a car and had to drive it home, simple as that. Now THAT was an entertaining ride)

So I pulled out my lot...and immediately stalled. I got it going again and managed to get to the first roundabout before I stalled out again. Take it from me, British people get pretty pissy when you stall out in a roundy-roundy. So I got the car going again, and then hit the problem of third gear. I don't know why, but third gear always gives me issues - no matter what car I drive. I kept getting into all kinds of other gears - 4th, 5th, 2nd - it was a big old mess. By the time I stalled out in the second roundy-roundy, I was about to get out and drop kick the damn car. I was so upset, crying and cursing. Mostly I was mad at myself for not being able to drive a car at 33 years old. I finally managed to get to the council office, and the smell of burning engine/rubber/whatever was tremendous.

I went into the council office and signed in (its England, of course there's a queue!). Only to be chatted up by a guy who informed me that he was waiting for both Housing and Income Benefits. So basically this guy is hitting on me and he has neither a job nor a place to live. And he was tricked out in sweatpants, a Sean Jean t-shirt and Crocs. I'm not making this up. He then asked me if he could ring me sometime, could he have my phone number. I was so off my normal game that the best I could muster was that he could give me his number and maybe I'd call. To which he replied that he didn't exactly have a phone. I couldn't help myself, I had to ask how exactly he planned on phoning me then? Oh, he says, I would just go 'round my mates. His phone should be turned back on again soon. Thankfully at that point they called my number and I got to escape. But not before I got a gap-toothed leer from my new little friend.

After that, I was able to calm down sufficiently to be able to drive to my next destination - which, luckily, was a friend's house. Since then I've managed to drive around with minimal incidents - I think I've only stalled out twice since then. My biggest problem is downshifting. My left hand isn't used to the motions yet and I think I err to far one way or the other and end up in all kinds of weird gears. Hopefully the little German car can handle my nonsense for a few more weeks until I get used to this left-hand business. I also apparently need to learn to drive closer to the center line - I guess I'm overcompensating out of fear and driving way too close to the left curb. I haven't hit anything yet, but I've scared the beejeezus out of people in the car with me. I tried to explain that I'm not a bad driver, I'm just freaked out by cars coming at me when I'm sitting in what should be the damn passenger seat!! But I have faith in myself - I think it will all be okay. I need to get my UK driver's license sometime this year and I want to do it before we hit the artic conditions again... so probably September/October time frame. I see some UK driving lessons in my near future...

Oh! And before I forget, even the damn British people treat the roundy-roundy's like a free for all. I learned the rules and I try to follow them but just like in the States, there are idiots who just take up whatever lane and go wherever they want. Which is not cool - especially when you're going in a circle, shifting left-handed and not always sure where you're going. I soooo want to plant a huge American flag on top of my car - I bet they would back off then!!

I did learn about things called bollards.(took me awhile to figure out how it was spelled because of the accent over here). What is a bollard? Check it out here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bollard. They are in the middle of roads...well, I'm not sure exactly why, but I think its to show you what side of the road to be on or something. It looks like even the Brits need reminding.

I have a new favorite game. I call someone British and they say "No, I'm English/Scottish/Irish" and I say "Same difference" and watch them get angry. :P Yep that's me, making friends all over the world!

Federman out.