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So I arrived in Frankfurt after a fairly uneventful 8 hour flight from Philadelphia. I say uneventful because for only the second time in my life, I slept through nearly the entire flight. (The first time was coming back from Cincinnati after I found out my mom was sick and dying). I have my good friends in Philly to thank for my exhaustion, as they treated me to nearly a week long going-away extravaganza, complete with more alcohol than any living person needs to be drinking in such a short time. By the time I got to the airport, I could barely keep my eyes open and at one point, I did doze off in the Admirals Club and then wake up in a puddle of my own drool. Classy, all the way. That’s me.
After collecting my 4 huge suitcases, I began what ended up being an hour long adventure of “find the driver”. My company had arranged for a driver to pick me up. As I didn’t have a working cell phone upon landing, we agreed to meet in “Arrivals”. Apparently, in Germany, “Arrivals” translates to “Level B, Departures”. Adding insult to injury was that I had no way to contact my company because it was before working hours and so I was just rolling this huge cart of luggage around, looking like a pale, cracked-out Fraggle in desperate need of sleep.
I picked up my car at the Autohaus (love that word - it makes so much sense!), and discovered that i had reserved a mid-size Skoda. I really wasn’t sure what I had ordered, as my conversations with das Autohaus consisted of emails of basically pictures and a language I’m quickly coming to know called  “Germlish”. The car is nice, although it doesn’t have a navigation system so I’ve had to go old school in terms of getting around. It’s also a manual transmission, which I have really missed.
Note to all readers: If you learned to successfully navigate roundabouts in the UK, and you are jet-lagged and in a new town, you might want to pay just a bit more attention while driving. I was cruising along and I saw the roundy-roundy (as I call it) sign. I thought “Oh, snap, I got this” and proceed to look LEFT. Dammit, England, ye hath ruined me for roundabouts. Good thing there was other traffic or I’m pretty sure I would have gone the wrong way around. In fact, going on a roundabout on the right side just does not feel correct.
I made it to my temporary (6 months) flat with minimal fuss, seeing as how I had the foresight to write down directions before I left the US. Something told me that might be a good idea, and I’m so glad I did. My flat is in the center of Ingelheim (which isn’t that big as far as I can tell) directly on a reasonably busy road. There is a gate and a “driveway” (in quotes because it is basically as wide as my car plus about 4 inches - I kid you not). There are four garages, of which I have #3 - but none of them are marked, which resulted in my picking one at random and leaving a note on the car. I tried calling and texting the landlady but she didn’t respond, so here’s hoping my car doesn’t get towed.
My apartment is a decent size and it is on what they call the third floor, which really is FIVE flights of steps. No lift. FIVE FLIGHTS OF STEPS + JET LAG + FOUR HEAVY SUITCASES = being less than amused upon arrival. I eventually got all the luggage up the stairs without injuring myself, which I count as a major win.
The flat is four rooms - a HUGE bathroom (why it is so big, I have no idea), a medium size bedroom with minimal closet space, a larger office (bigger than the bedroom, again - weird) and a medium size kitchen. It’s decently appointed but clearly for temporary use. The TV is only slightly larger than my computer screen. The bed is NOT COMFORTABLE. I MISS MY BED. I know I can suck it up for six months, but when my bed arrives, I swear it is going to be a near-religious experience. Everything is small, like in London. Small refrigerator and teeny freezer. Washing machine (no dryer). But it is clean, and safe and I don’t have to share and so I’m pretty happy.
The first thing I tried to do upon arrival was get a working German phone number. Turns out I can’t do so without a German bank account (which I will get on Tuesday). So I had to get pre-paid, which comes with a cap data of 250MB. I’m pretty sure I can use 250 MB on one text message. So my data has been off and I have felt disconnected from the earth. I then tried to use the internet in my flat - I have this odd USB key from T-mobile. I went to install it and it told me I needed Java 6… which I had to download from the internet. See the problem? Yeah. So I gave up and went to the local grocery story (Rewe) for supplies. Turns out you can’t get a grocery cart without 1 Euro. I didn’t think I had a Euro (turns out that I did, but in my tired state I had forgotten that I had switched purses and all the Euro were in my purse). I was flummoxed. I tried asking a few people for help and NO ONE SPOKE ENGLISH. There is no acceptable mime for “I need a Euro for the cart and all I have is American money”. I was sort of just standing there, wondering if I really did want to eat after all, when a very nice woman walked over and said “Here, you hafs one Euro!” and put a coin in my hand. I thanked her profusely (the German I do know) and she just smiled. So I guess there are good people in this world.
I will go into the grocery store later, but suffice it to say it is really fun to shop when you don’t know the words for anything. Sometimes there were pictures and sometimes it was a guessing game. What is the German word for Garlic? I don’t know. What about almond milk? Cough medicine? And so, and so forth. I did manage to basically get what I needed with a minimum of frustration but I can’t wait for my German lessons and for working data on my phone so I can use the translator.
I then came home, put everything away and proceeded to sleep for about 21 hours. Woke up today and have only left the bed because I had to sort out the internet situation or lose my mind. So I walked to the town center (about 5 min away) and went into a cafe that showed up on my Wifi list. Turns out they have wifi, but it would not work on my computer. It worked on my phone, but that was it. I was able to use it to translate enough to figure out that if I sat in the center square (outside), I could pay 5 euro for T-mobile hotspot to download the damn Java 6. So, after a nice salad and salmon tartare, that is exactly what I did. I then went to a store called Muller (but with the funny u) to get some hand wash, and to try to find cough medicine and a washcloth. Again, no one spoke a lick of English. I found most of what I wanted in the store (yay, washcloth!) but needed help for the medicine. It basically devolved into me pointing at my throat, making an “ouch” face and then coughing heavily. I have no idea what she gave me - one is a box of tablets I’m supposed to suck every 2 hours (thank you, Google translate) and the other is - inexplicably - Eucalyptus oil that not even Google translate can make heads or tails of the directions. But it is “Husten -und - Erkaltungs-tropfen” that is supposed to “Lindernd be Erkaltungsbeschwerden”. So I hope that means something good.
So, learnings so far:
- If I ever move again, I don’t care what it costs, I’m getting some sort of international phone plan.
- This “everyone speaks English” is for the birds. They don’t. Maybe in Frankfurt, and I’m sure in my company but not in this town.
- Not knowing the language is sort of fun when on holiday, but really frustrating when you want to buy garlic and onion salt, or cough medicine, or ask if they have a loyalty card at the store. I have seriously taken for granted my ability to piece together Spanish and Italian based on my French. German will be fun to learn but is extra annoying because I can understand every third word but those words don’t really help me.
- Pillows. Bring pillows.