I was discussing my blog with a friend the other day and I realised I hadn’t updated it in what must be months. I always intend to, and then life gets the better of me. However, last night over a wonderful dinner in the heart of Rome, I learned that a business partner kept his blog up to date even during his honeymoon and so I felt a bit challenged to get back to cyberspace. As it’s been a while, I have a few themes to tackle before I try (and I really will try) to get back to cataloguing my travel experiences.
Growing Up
I’m writing this on a FinnAir flight from Rome to Helsinki. I’ve just spent the past three days in Italy working with colleagues on a training event. Let me just say, you haven’t lived until you’ve tried to keep to an agenda with more than 60 Italians involved! I thought the entire event would bring out the worst in me (for I could probably give the military a lesson or two in punctuality and brutal time-keeping), but instead something completely different happened. I was absolutely and totally relaxed. Yes, I’ll repeat that for those of you who have your jaws on the floor. I was relaxed. Agendas are being discarded and changed on the fly, meetings are starting 20, 30, 40 minutes behind schedule, people are on their cell phones during the meeting or talking over the presenter - and I was not bothered.
No, I wasn’t heavily medicated - and yes, I’m telling the truth. As I sit here and think about, I honestly can’t explain my reaction. But I have to say it was one of the best meetings I’ve ever attended because I didn’t stress myself out about every single detail. I trusted that things would work out for the best, and that the professionals whom we had hired to manage things would do their job and do it well. This is not to say I didn’t keep an eye on things - I did, and where I saw things that needed adjusting, I pointed them out. But I did so quietly, discreetly, under the radar. I didn’t rush around the room muttering under my breath, rolling my eyes, feeling my heart race. I reflect up on this because this is such an incredible sea change for me.
Even just a few months ago, when I threw a surprise birthday party for my sister (who is probably reading this and so I have to say is the MOST WONDERFUL SISTER IN THE WORLD), I was at about stress level 11 on a scale of 1-5. To be fair, she almost didn’t make her own party because my brother couldn’t get her to follow the plan - but that’s no excuse for a spazz-out. I think that if I were doing the same event now, I’d probably not stress at all. In fact, I’d probably just move the party to where she was and call it a day. Yes, that would have messed with some plans, but plans should be like life - flexible and always exciting. Could it be that I’ve actually grown up? Have I reached that exalted plateau of “maturity”? I’d like to think that maybe I have - but that I’ve done it in my own way and that “mature” doesn’t have to mean “boring”. The interesting thing with me is that it usually tends to be all or nothing - I either understand an idea or concept or I don’t. People have been telling me for years to calm down, chill out, take a breath, slow my roll (shout out to you, K.S.!). And to be honest, I just didn’t get it. I would argue that I was calm - but that I was just making sure everything was okay. (For a point of reference, see this clip. Warning: Not suitable for work, small children, or those without any sense of humour) I honestly didn’t see how stressed out - or stressful - my behaviour was. I didn’t notice the ripple effect I was causing with my interactions with other people. But like with anything else in my life, I just sort of suddenly did understand it. In this case, I think it might be the fact that I happened to observe someone else freaking out and realised just how unnecessary that kind of approach is. I watched the effect that person had on those around him… and I didn’t like it. But it was much more organic than that. It’s like I just woke up and said “I’m not going to stress anymore”.
That sounds crazy, but that is seriously how I operate. The upside to this is that once I get one of these ideas, they usually stick. I feel pretty confident that my days of full-on spazz attack are over and that if I do stress it will be over something amazingly important or life-altering and not over whether the coffee break on Wednesday has gone on for 5 minutes too long. The takeaway? I’m very, very happy about this and looking forward to seeing how this will change the rest of my life. I’ve already noticed small changes.
This afternoon, the woman at the Rome airport security line would not honour my Silver status to let me go through the Fast Track security line. I argued a bit with her, she didn’t get it, and so I was shepherded back to the regular line. I was really irritated, and I felt myself start to react - feeling hot, fists clenched, desire to lash out - and then I asked myself if I was really getting that worked up over something so stupid as the security line, especially when the regular line wasn’t even that long…? I need to save my outrage for the right time and right place. Was I in the right? Yes. Was my getting angry going to accomplish anything but increase my risk of a heart attack? No.
So what was the point?
… and that, my friends, is the sound of one grown-up hand clapping ;)
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