English Christmas

Mood: Happy, Peaceful
Theme Song: "Candy" by Aggro Santos feat. Kimberly Wyatt

This year marks my first-ever Christmas outside the United States, and not spent with my immediate family. And while it was rather surreal to be so far away, I ended up having an absolutely wonderful time.

I think it's important to share that Christmas in England is taken very, very seriously. NOTHING is open, save for a few off-licenses (liquor stores) and quickie marts. It's not like in the U.S. where there are limited hours for last minute items or gifts. If you didn't plan ahead, then you're out of luck. Not even public transportation is running, so if you want to get around, you'd better have money for a cab (and patience to wait) or know someone with a car.

Yesterday, I was lucky enough to experience a true "English" Christmas dinner. I spent the day with Marianne and Joe Slade (see, Marianne, your name in lights AGAIN!!!) at Joe's grandmother's house.
So, what do the English eat on Christmas? I can't speak for every English person, and I'm sure that just like in America it will vary by region and cultural background, but here is what we had:

• Roast turkey - tasted the same, but the turkey was much smaller than what we're used to in America. I think it's called a "turkey crown" over here - just the top part of the turkey, because the ovens over here won't accomodate a full bird
• Turkey gravy - was delicious. Made from scratch and just perfect
• Roast potatoes - these are my all-time favorite side dish here in England. There are so many different ways to make them, the most traditional being with goose fat and bacon or pancetta.

MMMMMM.... POTATOES.... YUMMY YUMMY!!

• Steamed broccoli and carrots
• Roasted parsnips
• Mashed Swede (aka Rutabaga) - I didn't know until yesterday that a swede was a rutabaga
• Brussels Sprouts and Roasted Chestnuts - yum!
• Stuffing - English stuffing is different than American stuffing. It tastes similar, but is very different. It's made in a pan (like a casserole) or in a log.
• Small English Sausages - they look like cocktail sausages, but are REAL sausages and taste amazing
• Pigs in a Blanket - but not what you're thinking. These aren't mini hot dogs in bread. They are English sausages wrapped in English bacon, and they are deelish.

And then for dessert... or rather, "pudding" (because the English call every kind of dessert pudding, no matter what it is - and they don't understand what I mean when I refer to pudding (like Jell-O style)), we had:

• Sherry Trifle - absolutely delicious. Very sweet, and I think it's made from sponge cake and sherry (duh). Click the link for a full recipe to try yourself!
• Mulled wine - the first time I had this was when I celebrated Thanksgiving with Marianne and Joe, and I didn't care for it so much. (Turns out Joe had augmented the recipe with an overly generous helping of Cointreau, which explained why it tasted like something that could power a small SUV). Yesterday Joe made it normally and it was perfect for a cold, icy winter day.

You may have noticed that the Christmas dinner lacked the carb overdose which is so typical of American gatherings. More vegetables than potatoes, and no endless baskets of bread.

At 3pm, we turned the television on to watch the Queen's annual Christmas speech... which, to be honest, I didn't quite understand. I have to give Her Majesty credit, as I think she's about 85 years old and still going strong. However, her speech made no sense to me. I know it was about Christmas, and the Bible (they showed a lot of pictures of it), but the rest seemed to be about playing sports with various kids. Which I think is great, but I'm not sure how that had anything to do with King John or his Bible (which she talked about alot). But don't take my word for it - check it out yourself here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsVZmqXED1c. I was a bit disappointed because Joe had told me that it was tradition to sing the English National Anthem after the Queen's speech, so I had practiced the words and even emailed them to my phone. This, it turns out, was a joke.

After dinner, we tried to go the pub near my house for a Christmas cocktail, only to find that despite having all the lights and televisions on, it was closed. The sign on the door showed that it had only been open for 2 hours that day! In America, you can ALWAYS find a place willing to take your money and sauce you up! So we went back to my flat, where I served tea and chocolate and Joe fixed my wobbly table (*happy dance, happy dance*).

Today is Boxing Day and despite the fact that it is England's biggest shopping day of the year (like American Black Friday), I woke up to find that the trains aren't running! I knew that service was limited, but a friend of mine told me he thought that service was on today (because of the shopping). It turns out that there is limited bus and underground service only.

I wanted to go into town to meet a few friends and peruse the sales - to do so, I would have had to take 3 busses, a tram and the tube. Adding to the fun is that there is another tube strike going on so some lines are running, but with delays, or diversions. I honestly thought about chancing it, and while I'm pretty sure I could get there with limited drama, I'm not so sure about getting back. And so I'm having a lovely lazy day, updating this blog, drafting the first chapers of my book and catching up on all my recorded TV shows that I never catch during the week.

2011 is going to be a crazy busy year, and I have already made a list of things I will accomplish, so I am more than happy to chill in my jammies, drink tea and catch up with my peoples via phone and Skype.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, wherever you may be.
I for one can say that I am truly blessed. Sometimes the best gift of all is the gift of perspective. :)

Federman out.

Childhood Memories

Mood: Festive!!
Theme Song: "Twelve Days of Christmas"

So a friend of mine got me started on this by posting an old Coca-Cola Christams commercial from the 70s, which led me down the winding corridors of YouTube as I relived the glory days of late 70s/early 80s commercials. I know this isn't specifically Christmas-related, but I always find myself growing nostalgic this time of year and so I think it's appropriate.

I am sure you'll enjoy them, too (especially my English friends!) - so here are some of my favorite.

Wouldn't You Like to Be a Pepper, Too? (I still know all the words to this song !)

Sometimes You Feel Like a Nut, Sometimes You Don't... (I had forgotten about this one)

Fruit Chewy! (Loves me some Fig Newtons)

Betcha Can't Do It... (Who among us did not try?)

Goes Great with Your Imagination! (featuring a young Urkel!)

NOW, She's having a ball... (LOL) (I used to LOOOOOOVE these things, just the sight of the container makes my mouth water...)

Vintage Taco Bell (does anyone else remember how all the Taco Bells used to have those curved windows? I also remember how everything used to come in foil...and styrofoam. I don't remember those jacked up employee unifoms, but I sure wish I did... especially the hair kerchief! LMAO)

Help Yourself, Although if You Ever Give Me This for My Birthday, I Am Whooping Your Ass (or if you try to hold a party with men in leisure suits + a piano)

Nooks and Crannies! (for my English friends, THIS is what I'm talking about...!)

Down on the Farm (AMERICAN sausage, y'all... boy do I miss that stuff!)

The Only System You'll Ever Need... (compare this to the Kinect... and it was only 28 years ago, people. I'll have a robot body in no time!!!)

For Lonely Kids who Couldn't Make "Real" Friends (didn't stop me wanting one, though)

Can You And I Be Friends? (Is it just me or is this whole commercial really eerie - especially the way the kids all nod, open-mouthed and glassy eyed? And doesn't T.R. look just a wee bit up to something??)

Before the X-Men, there were... Wuzzles?

No Comment... But I wanted a Pair

I Begged for these Jeans... BEGGED

And finally, a few fun compilation videos. These will bring back memories (especially the branding and packaging and taglines!) and will amuse my non-American friends, I'm sure...

Various from 1988

Christmas Themed from 1987

And for all the commercials you could ever want... Commercial Vault!

Hope you enjoy and got a good laugh, just like I did...

Trains

I am continuously impressed by the employees of the various transport
companies within London. They ALWAYS know which platform to go to, no
matter what the destination! Be it underground, overground, DRT, tube,
bus, high-speed rail - they have it on lock.
Went through Clapham Junction
(http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clapham_Junction_railway_station) this
morning, which is labrynthine and half under construction. Popped off
my train, found the nearest guy in neon yellow and said with a smile,
"Kensington Olympia?" And he replied "Platform 2, Up the stairs to
your right". Doesn't seem so impressive until you realise there are 17
different platforms with about 50+ destinations to choose from. The
station opened in 1863 and has over 17M entries/exits per year.
Therefore, I now dub all rail/tube employees Transport Ninjas
(Ninjae?). My new form of entertainment will be to go to the busier
stations in the UK and just ask random questions about destinations to
see if they know them ALL. *hee hee*
Federman out.
PS- Writing this on the train and so far I have seen someone blow
their nose with a newspaper and overheard a phone call about "mummy's
gout". Ahhh...public transportation, attracting crazies regardless of
the country.

Things I Miss from the U.S.

Mood: Pensive
Theme Song: “Crazy” by Aerosmith

Because I made a promise to myself not to badmouth England for awhile (I’m thinking the end of the year is a good time frame), I am approaching the situation in a bit of a devious, round about way. Ever hear the saying that what you don’t say is sometimes more powerful than what you do say? Yeah, this is kind of like that.

It all started yesterday when I went to the post office to buy stamps and mail some letters. I waited in an huge queue (about 25 people deep who all seemed to be sending packages to the Isle of Man, Australia or random Eastern European countries that have probably had a revolution and are called something different already). I ordered my stamps (some for Europe, some for U.S., some for UK) - which strangely consisted of me having to re-weigh the same letter over and over (I didn’t ask). While doing this, I noticed that everyone working in the post office was not English. Wait, I guess that’s not fair to say. They could have been English, but they all looked foreign - mostly African or Indian. I know for certain the woman who helped me had a very, very, VERY heavy Indian accent because most of our conversation consisted of me saying, “Excuse me - I don’t understand what you are saying. Could you please repeat that?” over…and over… and over again.

[side note: doesn’t England have some kind of language proficiency test before people are allowed to work in the public sector? I noticed this problem at the airport, most specifically (and I guess humourously/ironically) at Immigration. The people telling you to stay in line, go over here, present your passport etc for entry into ENGLAND don’t even speak proper English. It all becomes rather surreal after awhile…]

After I paid for my stamps, I put them on my envelopes and then slid the envelopes through the window to the postal employee. Who immediately freaked out on me and started yelling and pointing and generally having a fit. She shoved the envelopes back at me like they were coated with the plague and started yelling something about “the cage”. As this a) made no sense, b) was said in a very heavy accent and c) frankly scared me a little bit, I didn’t really do much of anything but stare right back at her. I recovered enough to try to ask for clarification, but I got nothing more than shaking her head, crossing her arms and repeated utterings about “the cage”. I backed away slowly and began looking in the general vicinity of her pointing. Which took me to the end of the counter. Where there was no cage of any kind. There was a display of greeting cards, 2 for 3, but I don’t think that’s what she was foaming at the mouth about. I stood there helplessly and rather frustrated until some poor man in the queue took pit on me, and breaking all kinds of unwritten British rules of social interaction, kindly pointed out where I was to put my envelopes. Which happened to be through an unmanned window (like a bank teller window). Which looked exactly like the windows behind where all the employees sit. For some reason in England, you are unable to hand your post to the postal service worker… you have to put it through an unmanned window, and then I guess hope they get around to putting it in the postal bin. *Confusing* !! At no point, either, did I find anything resembling a “cage”.

I guess it bears mentioning that this experience came right on top of the snafu that I have been having with my flat. I could go on for HOURS about this, so to keep things maneagable, I’ll list the situation below:

• November 30th brings epic snowfall and a 5 hour commute home for me. As my toes felt frostbitten, I decided to take a bath. While I was towelling off, I got a knock on my door from my downstairs neighbors, who kindly pointed out that I had flooded their ceiling.
• I tried to call my estate agent (see other posts for my explanation of these fools), but they don’t have any kind of after hours emergency number. I ended up leaving a message and chewing out some lady in the corporate office.
• Many days go by with much to and fro, involving three contractors and my bathroom being torn apart (tile jackhammered away, etc)
• Bath was supposedly fixed around the 2nd, but was unusable for 24 hours minimum to let a “seal set”
• When I returned to my flat, I drained the water that had been left in my tub (to push the seal down), and voila! a new leak!
• I called the estate agent again… and explained, which brought more contractors to and fro
• I left for Spain on the 8th, with assurances that all would be repaired by the time I returned on the 13th
• I got back on the 13th to find my bath fixed but with a caulking job that Helen Keller could have beaten.
• I informed the estate agent on the 14th… as of Friday the 17th, no resolution - only I found out from the guy who replaced the tile that he had left things perfectly, and that someone else must have come along and taken things apart afterwards
• Enter the weekend… when my boiler decided to stop working. There is no central heating in my flat (not sure if it exists in England) and I have heating through a boiler and radiators. I was freezing. I spent Sunday morning trying to get a plumber to come out but no one would come. They were all either busy or wouldn’t bill the estate agent directly, and I can’t afford to be paying bills for some place I don’t own. I spent a very long Sunday under lots of blankets and heating my flat with my oven
• Come Monday I had to chase my estate agent THREE times to get them to realise that no heat = emergency. The contractor showed up in the afternoon and pointed out that the reason I have boiler problems is that there is a faulty part…which they identified MONTHS ago (for the last tenant) but which the estate agent never acted upon.  He also let me know that he was pretty sure my bathtub was never fixed… that they were thinking about it, but hadn’t figured it out.
• So I call the estate agent, who argued with me that my bath WAS fixed, until I put the contractor on the phone. This was Monday afternoon. As of tonight, Tuesday evening, the estate agent hasn’t bothered to get back to me to let me know if anything is fixed or not. This is typical. They are truly, as the English say, a bunch of freaking muppets.

So all this is going on + the post office + I have been getting over a wicked cold… and it all culminated when I decided to make some pasta. Only to get frustrated because NOTHING tastes the way it should over here. I have yet to find a pasta sauce that doesn’t taste…wrong. And I’m not a fan of sugary, American-style sauces (i.e. Ragu). I like sauces which taste like tomato and basil and good veggies. The ones over here taste burnt and weird.

Which got me thinking of a list of things I love but that I can’t get over here, or which I can’t get in the “right” format in England. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but it is representative…

• Gummi bears - I love me some gummi bears, but I can’t ever find the right kind here. They’re too hard or too sweet, and not bouncy enough. The closest were ones from the duty free in Spain.
• Spaghetti/Pasta sauce
• Decent frozen pizza - have not found one that is even close to those back home. Marks & Spencer do a decent Margherita, but the pepperoni over here is jacked up and tastes all wrong. It’s “spicy”, but like hot sauce spicy, not like pepperoni spicy
• Triscuits (thank goodness my sister sends to me)
• Decent toothpaste (thanks again to Jessica!)
• Tupperware - where do they hide it? I know they have to use it, but I can’t find it anywhere!
• Stuffing - even StoveTop beats what is going down on this side of the pond. They serve it in a LOG, people
• Turkey - I miss American-style turkey. The way they cook it over here, or raise the turkeys or something is different
• Bread crumbs - not the same, not sure why
• Ramen noodles - I’ve written about this before…boggles my mind
• Steak - namely prime rib
• A real hamburger - not cooked well done, but medium rare and juicy
• American soups - no particular brand name
• Salads. Real salads. I’m talking romaine, celery, tomatoes, avocado, onions, green peppers, basically LOADS of fresh veggies… maybe topped with some grilled chicken and a light drizzle of balsamic vinaigrette…and avocado…
• Shopping centers - you know, the ones on every corner, anchored by a Walgreen’s or a Dollar Store or even the ones with a Check Cashing place…
• Chicken broth (don’t have it here… it’s called “chicken stock” and it’s NOT the same)

Those are just a few of the things I miss. Obviously a lot of them are food. Most of them center around convenience.

I’m still enjoying my adventure, but I have most definitely put brackets around this “English experience”. When my visa is up, I’ll be heading off somewhere new - hopefully somewhere exciting in Europe, or if not to a big, happening city and wonderful job in the U.S. of A.

Federman out.