Oh, Deutschland

Last night I was driving home from a work dinner, and as I pulled up to a light I noticed a German police car in the opposite lane. The policeman in the car flashed his lights and waved at me to stop. I did. He made the universal roll down your window sign. I complied, only to be greeted with about 40 German words which all sounded very bad, and very much like I might be seeing the inside of a German jail cell. My heart was racing as I tried to calculate what I could have done wrong.

When I explained that I only speak a little German, so sorry, the police officer actually laughed and tried again in what I have come to refer to 3-year old German: "Lichts! Nicht Auf!"

My lights weren't on.

I turned on my headlights and got a thumbs up from the police officer and then a friendly wave as I drove away.
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This morning, I walked out of my apartment only to be nearly run down by an older man in very short shorts and a tank top (keep in mind it is about 12 degrees out - which is 54 for my American friends) riding a unicycle. A mothertrucking for real actual unicycle.

Let's all just take a moment to appreciate this. Seven a.m. Chilly. And this 60 year old dude in a Richard Simmons getup is rocking a UNICYCLE down my street.
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This morning I also learned that Germany doesn't do coffee. Rather, Germany does coffee but only itty-bitty tiny espresso versions. I greatly confused the lady in the canteen with my seemingly preposterous request for a large coffee. No, not an espresso. No, not a cafe creme. No, not a macchiato. Just coffee. A large, piping hot, delicious vat of coffee. It seems her machine just didn't make that. I tried suggesting an Americano - espresso + hot water - only to be told that they had no hot water (which I found decidedly odd as they also served tea). A man in line behind me offered to help - and after a bit of back and forth with the woman behind the counter, I ended up with what would be a Starbucks tall-sized coffee in my hand - and lots of weird looks, as apparently Germans like their coffee in munchkin size only.